Do you ever feel?

All the inside jokes that you never understand but try to understand can be frustrating moments for you..

You feel that you belong in there but actually you never are..

Pretending that you are close but you never understand them..

Wondering if you still remember the moments together as it came across my mind every single day..

Feeling you should be happy but the thought that it's just for temporary makes you hurt..

The thought that the people you know right now can still be with you for a long time together until you die..

The changing characters and attitudes as time passes make you feel out of place..

Thinking if you are the first choice or just another options..

Too much thinking makes you feel you don't deserve anything..

Oh ini semua duniawi..

Dekatkan diri kepada Allah and prepare for the infinity and beyond..

                                                    Assalamualaikum..

Just a nightmare.

My first post in 2013.

I just hope that today was just a saddening nightmare for me.

Please God just take it all away from me. I don't want to face this.

I couldn't shout, I couldn't talk to anyone that actually care. They just laugh and laugh to my sadness.

I need somebody to talk to, that actually understand and sincerely care for me.

Let there be Sam and Patrick and Charlie into my life so that they can teach me the true meaning of friendship.

So many to talk to but this tiny fragile heart couldn't be strong enough to make them feel a burden for me.

I just want everybody to be happy with their life and not focusing on me.

But as a human with full of emotions, I can't resist all the attention that I actually need.

I'm not trying to be attention seeker or something but I need a little bit sincere care from them.

But I'm thankful enough to the fact that I can hear mama's and unnie's voice without them sobbing about me.

I'm dying to tell them what I'm feeling inside but I don't want to make them worry. 

I know everybody busy with everything and I know the fact that no one actually read this emotional-squishy post of mine, but...

This is the only way that can make my heart feel at ease.

Alhamdulillah, I'm still alive.

Hurt

When the time has come, sometimes I’ve cursed at life why would I’ve born as a girl.

Astagfirullah, what I’ve been thinking. 

Berdosanye fikir cmtu.

Guilty, hmm yeah. 

But it hurt so badly and that thought just come automatically.

Allah dah jadikan seseorang manusia tu dan dah takdirnya dijadikan mcm tu.

Aku hanya boleh berharap agar iman aku kuat dan takkan persoalkan semua benda mcm ni lagi.

Every month, I or to be exact some of women in this world will experience that so called “PMS”.

Yes, I will write about PMS in this post. 

Seriously, it is normal for girls that already reach puberty to experience this kind of feeling.

Yang membezakan “feeling” ni ialah skala kesakitan simptom yang dihadapinya. 

Untuk aku, skala setiap bulan maybe 8 out of 10.

Seriously, kalau dah sampai tu aku sampai tak boleh bangun or berjalan. 

Pinggang akan rasa nak tercabut and the whole lower body felt like paralyzed.

Sometimes, I cannot go to the class if this feeling comes and I always ditch class and ask my friend to sign the attendance for me. 
Tak best giler kalau suruh kawan tolong sainkan. 

Tapi bayangkanlah kalau semata-mata nak dapatkan MC utk dikecualikan for classes in your paralyzed condition and hours of waiting at university clinic will makes you commit this kind of crime, I think.

And to this I’m thankful to have this chubby baby friend to help me every month. Thank you Ada’ J

Well, we both chubby J

FUTURE

The ray of sunset shone through my eyes,

Sweet song played on the radio yet it cannot fill my worry thought about my future.

What would I do in 5 years time?

Bolehkah aku berada di dakapan keluargaku?

Bolehkah aku berjumpa dengan kawan-kawanku lagi?

Bolehkah aku mendapat pekerjaan yang baik?

Bolehkah aku menghirup udara di dunia yang dipinjamkan ini?

dan yang paling penting

Bolehkah aku bersujud kepadaMu lagi?

Ya Allah, Kau kuatkanlah iman ku ini Ya Allah

sesungguhnya, aku semakin menjauh dariMu

Ampunkan aku kerana lalai dengan dunia yang semakin rosak ini

Teguran sangat sakit untuk diterima

 tetapi hakikatnya itu yang membuatkan kita untuk lebih baik

*aku tak sempurna, andai kata aku menyakitkan hati sesiapa atau terbuat salah, Minta maaf

Itu dia dah start dah!

Greetings evelibody!
Agak lama dah aku meninggalkan blog ni.

Org lain duk sibuk buat entry tahun baru, aku ketinggalan 17 hari dah.
Apa-apa pun HAPPY NEW YEAR EVELIBODY! Haha

Setelah lebih kurang 3 minggu menghadap happy and torturing final exam

Aku dibebaskan, Wehoooo!

Akhirnya dah start jugak my lovey-dovey semester break!

Pasal result final exam aku serahkan semuanya kepadaNya.

Aku dah usaha, so ustaz ajar lepas tu kite tawakal lah ye :)

p/s : cuti ni Insya Allah akan ke Sabah. Buddy, please wait for me. We'll meet there, ok? IMY

Bising!

Greetings everyone!

lame da tak post sbb dalam journey mencari diri yg hilang. *Wah, ayat tak nak kalah!

for those yg kenal aku mmg perasan yg aku mmg suke dgr my one and only MP3 yg 24jam akn ade ngan aku.

kalau ade org tegur aku kat tgh jln ke mmg aku tak dgr lah, sory for those yg rase aku berlagak ke ape but blame the MP3.

haha, ade reasonS sbb aku slalu letak penyumbat kat telinga aku ni.

#1 sbb utamanya aku ni seorang yg sukekan suasana yg SENYAP.

Pelik kan? suke senyap tpi dgr lagu kuat2 kat telinga.

bukan ape, kalau aku duduk kat tmpat public aku tak suke dgr org berborak2 sambil mengilai-ngilai 

*a.k.a cik ponti

drpd aku tambah DOSA dgr diorang mengumpat or aku join skali mengumpat baik aku duk diam2 dengar my sweet buddy, kan?

#2 aku seorang yg sgt pediam dan panas baran!

ye, panas baran, well I'm a blood type B person 

ok, same2 bace n judge this situation

ade makhluk Allah mmg gemar bercakap2 dlm pitch yg agak tinggi

 then one day, die dtg ke tmpat aku beradu a.k.a bilik

aku penat2 balik kelas malam sume tu, tgk2 die ade kat bilik aku,

paham2 lah kan, ade kelas sampai malam sume org penat kan?

takpe2, aku anggap die tetamu n still can smile to her.

mama cakap tetamu dtg bawak masuk 1000 kebaikan ke dalam rumah kita, so layan lah mereka dgn baik

ok, ingat pesan mama lagi.

dah agak2 lepas aku mandi n get ready to sleep

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, wah sedap die gelak mlm2 ni

then, aku pun takpe sabar2, 

even aku pasang penyumbat telinga pun suara die tembus gak ke dalam ruang pendengaran aku ni

lalu aku pun,

"Hey girl, there is a time when u need to shut ur mouth. Diam sikit boleh tak, consider skit org nak rest ni lah perempuan!", sambil meninggikn suara gaya mak mertua da MENOPOS 

-tapi sume ni hanyalah dlm imaginasi aku je

i don't have guts to tell this thing considering her as my guest n also my friend

ape yg aku buat ialah tulis semuanya yg aku rase dlm ni.

technology don't have any feelings to be hurt but through technology millions of people can be hurt

anything that related to this matter mmg tiada kaitan dgn hidup dan mati

it just a piece of my feeling that lucky to be posted here

Goodbyebye!

Fun with U aLL :)

haha

lame da tak update..byk benda nak tulis tpi PENAT n MALAS n BUSY

bestnye dpt akak sepenuh masa ni..

dlu dpt akak part time je..

sbb dlu die kat UMP n aku kat UPM..jauh

skrang die kat RUMAH (seremban) n aku kat UPM..

hmm that's much better..

baaaaanyaak aktiviti bleh buat same2..ganti balik masa2 yg hilang antara kami
wahh ayat nak novel je..

arghh malas panjang cite

scroll je ke bwh :)

Jumaat 1 July 2011

aku start new month of July dgn pegi kelas pepagi n balik tgh hari..
pastu dpt call bertuah tgh hari tu..akak da beli tiket transformers :D

petang bergegas la balik ke RUMAH dari UPM dgn khidmat KTM cam *ciput sedut lmbt delayed takleh blah*

n nak naik satu tangga ni terjatuh cinta la aku nye tulang kering ngan satu tangga batu yg tak berapa lembut tu

dah la ade kedai mamak dpn tu dgn ramai org bersorak2 sbb aku terjatuh..tu lah org melayu..bukan nak tolong..

tpi terjerit2 nak malukan org..TERIMA KASIH :)

nasib baik ade mp3..dgr kuat2 bangun dgn muka cool

(tu la teknik nak cover malu ye rakan2)

late nite movie = TRANSFOMERS 3 : DARK OF THE MOON

akak, me, kak cha :)

Sabtu 2 July 2011

petang dari RUMAH gerak ke UPM n KL SENTRAL ambik ahli2 kelab berjalan weekend

heading to JLN TAR soping2 n TS tpi takde wat ape selain mkn2..takde mood sgt nak soping so just tgu akak n kak eqa soping camwhore dlu ngan kak ain 

mak cik look of me n kak ain

Ahad 3 July 2011

patutnye plan ngan sume roomate nak kluar ngan diorang..

but i love my sister more..hahaha 

sorry roomates..i will make it up for u all later

heading to GENTING HIGHLANDS for first time..

yeaaaa sampai gak aku kat GENTING ni :)

summarize for genting activities

1. gelak2

2. beratur panjang

3. naik ride

4. jerit3

5. gelak2..sebab da tak larat nak jerit

6. eh da abis da naik ride..kejapnye :(

7. tangkap gambar 

8. makan 

the spinner..poning gilo naik ni

at last, Goodbyebye